Dealing With Anger In Your Marriage

"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while
you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.
Ephesians 4:26-27 (NIV)
At some point, everyone gets angry at their spouse. It could be
over something minor like leaving the cap off of the toothpaste,
or something on a larger scale like disrespecting you in front
of other people. The anger itself is not a sin...it's what you
then do with it and how you respond to it that can potentially
be classified as sin.
How are you dealing with your anger in your marriage?
There are different ways that people typically deal with anger.
Many people internalize their feelings of anger. In trying to
avoid dealing with it, unforgiveness and bitterness take root,
gradually poisoning their marriage. Turning it inward doesn't
deal with the anger; instead it's allowed to build up over time.
Others externalize it. They turn their anger outward, towards
their spouse, kids, or anyone else who gets in their line of
fire. They let their feelings lead them to hurt others, either
verbally or physically. Many of these people profess that they
just "couldn't control themselves." This is a person that's
controlled by their emotions, instead of being in control of
their emotions. These people will continue to physically or
verbally abuse their spouses or kids as long as they can get
away with it.
Now, take that same "out of control" person and put them up
next to a 300 pound linebacker. Do you think they would control
themselves enough to keep from slapping that linebacker around?
Oh yeah, because they know they couldn't get away with
that...not without some pretty hefty consequences.
We should never let our feelings of anger cause us to get "out
of control."
So what are some ways to deal with anger in marriage?
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and
slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and
compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in
Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32 (NIV)
1) Admit to yourself and God that you are angry. There's no
reason for denying it. Plus, as you get it out in the open,
you'll be better prepared to deal with it.
2) Don't yield to your feelings. If you think you may say or do
something that you'll regret, walk away from the situation until
you have control over your emotions. Take a deep breath to bring
your physical reactions to anger under control. Realize that YOU
are totally responsible for your own actions.
3) Whether the wrong committed against you was real or
perceived, intentional or accidental, bring the offense to God
and forgive your spouse. Forgiveness is not for the other
person, it's for you. As you get in the habit of actually
forgiving your spouse, your anger will lead you into sin less
often.
4) Don't give the devil a foothold by dwelling on the offense.
If you've forgiven your husband or wife, quit replaying the
situation over in your mind. Otherwise, not only will you cause
those angry feelings to come back, but you will give the devil
the opportunity to add fuel to the fire by telling you how evil
your spouse is. This will only serve to send you back to square
one, negating any progress you've made.
If you've let your anger lead you into sin in the past, ask God
to forgive you and let it go. You can't control what you've done
in the past, but you can control what you do now and in the
future. Start preparing now for the next time you get angry,
because the time will come again when you'll need to deal with
it. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you control yourself and diffuse
the anger without sinning. And remember Luke 1:37 "For nothing
is impossible with God."

Source: http://www.isnare.com

Permanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=149817&ca=Marriage