Coping With Divorce Anger

Successfully releasing your anger will help you begin healing
after your divorce. Right now you may feel a great deal of rage
at your ex-husband. You might be thinking that if it weren’t for
him, your life wouldn’t be so messed up. These feelings are
actually a necessary part of your healing.
Acknowledging The Anger:
Wouldn’t you just love to tell him what a sorry human being he
is? How he didn’t respect you and treated you like dirt. Well,
do It! Take a piece of paper and write down everything that he
did wrong. Release all the anger that has been bottled up. Get
it all off your chest. Tell him how he hurt your feelings and
how you suffered to make the marriage work. Don’t be surprised
if this letter goes on for pages, just get it all out.
Now for the important part.......Do Not Give Him This Letter.
It would only re-enforce the impact that he had on your life.
Burn it or throw it away. Allow yourself to release that anger
and resentment. It’s over and done with. You’ve acknowledged the
hurt and are now ready to figure out what went wrong and move
on.
Gaining Insight:
Gaining insight into why your marriage failed helps you to move
on to healthier relationships in the future. Start by thinking
about what attracted you to him in the first place. Maybe he was
handsome, strong, or wealthy. What benefits did you get from the
marriage? Maybe it was security, companionship, or a sense of
belonging. These are the things that are important to your core
being, and the difficulties in your marriage probably stemmed
from threats to these areas.
Gaining Perspective:
Knowing what part he played in the problems is easy, but you
also need to recognize how you contributed. Owning up to
responsibility is probably the hardest part.
Most women grew up with the image of the “White Knight” who
rides in and takes charge. The princess falls in love and stands
behind her man. The only problem is that this fairy tale usually
doesn’t have a happy ending because the power of choice is
removed. You are swept through life by circumstances and
decisions of others.
If you can own up to your participation in the marriage, you
have gained power. For example, by admitting that you stayed in
a bad marriage for economic reasons, you therefore, can choose
to find a good paying job and leave. When your perspective is
one of choice, you gain power and control over your life.
Admitting that you put up with a bad situation out of choice
allows you now to make decisions to do things differently in
your new life. Once you accept responsibility for your life, be
careful to not turn your anger inward. You did the best you
could in your given situation. It's in the past, and you now
have the power to move forward. Release the hold that anger has
over helps you to regain control over your life again. You no
longer need to feel like a victim, and your self esteem will
begin to rise.


Source: http://www.isnare.com

Permanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=5289&ca=Advice